"I needed to get a big car because I'm not that great of a driver."

If someone said that to you, wouldn't you be scared out of your skin to have that person on the road, let alone drive around in a tank? But that's precisely what has happened with the proliferation of SUV drivers who are of Asian descent (yes, that includes my family also, I currently practice my driving for my driver's liscense with my mom's SUV cause we don't have any Camrys or small sedans like that). The person who made that frightening proclamation was a relative of mine. Maybe you've seen her or someone like her on the road small, nervous woman who barely reaches the dashboard and has an incredible lack of any driving etiquette. I'm not disparaging all Asian drivers, but I do believe stereotypes exist because for the most part they're true.

Or are they?

Believe me, there are plenty of bad Asian drivers out there (me being one of them cause I just got my permit almost a month ago), and the worst part now is that they're one of the fastest growing population of SUV buyers. I mean, nothing is less sad than to witness my fellow Asian drivers getting themselves in driving problems. I once saw a young Asian woman having problems parallel parking her car on the end of the sidewalk, where there was plenty of room and only a car behind her to back up against. How did she pass her driving test?!

But there's one thing between a bad Asian driver behind a Toyota Corolla and another behind a Ford Excursion, and that is the victim count. You could mow down probably one or two people with the Corolla, but with the Excursion the victim count could be as high as ten. Is that what attracts Asians to these killing machines? I had my own father tell me he wanted an SUV or a big truck because if he were in an accident with a small car he would be alright since the big car could crush the smaller car. That word "crush" is quite devastating, and for my father, a typical small Asian man, to say that he'd feel better if he could come out alive from an accident because he crushed the other car... well... something is just really wrong with the world.

I once went to a car dealership with my dad to test drive Lexus SUV to see what the appeal was, and one of the selling points that my salesperson tried on me was that an SUV could drive over a small car. I thought car salespeople were low, but to sell me on the point that I could kill someone with my car was so low I'm sure he'll reach hell with no problem.

So why are Asians so attracted to SUVs? Is it because they're big? Is it because they're so useful because Asians are known to be such avid skiers and mountaineers? Is it because they're so environmentally friendly? No, the answer lies in a more sinister explanation, which can also explain the awful driving habits of Asians.

You see... Asians aren't bad drivers, they're actually just trying to mark their targets (i.e. people, pets, cars) with their cars, which explains the erratic driving. Since Asian people believe in efficiency and quantity, it also explains why they love their big, killing machines called SUVs, because it can mow down more people in less time.