Just went looking through some of my disc. Rather quite interesting. I needed to clear some of them because school will be starting next month and I need discs with lots of space on them. I was reading saved convos on AIM I've had with people in the past. (yes I save some or a lot of my convos I have with people, i have my reasonings, and apparently it's good that i did save them) Yep found some interesting stuff that someone told me. I will quote one person, " i would love to do just about anythign for u =) ". I take people for their words, because I was taught to trust, however now I realize you can't trust anybody anymore. If I was on my death bed the person who said that wouldn't even come to visit. If I was in the hospitalthat person wouldn't even come to visit. If I was graduating college that person wouldn't even come. If I was having some major problems that person wouldn't even come to help me figure things out and try to help me make things better. It's not so much the actual not doing it, it's the even try part that really bothers me. Oh well, I shall move on I guess. It just takes me forever to move on about things like that though. I can over come death fairly shortly depending on who it is. I can overcome illness shortly depending on what the illness is. However, I really can't over come having my feelings hurt badly and have my heart ripped out and l slashed to pieces. Especially after the three other times it had happened the 3rd time not as bad as the other two times, that's probably because it was so ripped up from the first two it was too black to be really hurt. But I had let it heal and my heart was back to where it use to be and then another guy comes around and stabs it through the back left right and all ways in between. Then puts in in and oven, squashes ,throws it around to the point where it's in so many pieces you can't even figure out how to put it back together again. I let my heart get to much into any relationships with guys. I think I just need to let it get fixed and healed up 100% and keep it hidden and remain far away from relationships and use my head more then my heart. Unlike most guys who use the head in their pants over the head on their shoulders or even their heart.