Thinking About Choices In Life

Recently with people I know either getting engaged, married, having kids or other monumental life changing experiences I've looked at my life. Then thought about many questions as to why all these people I know have made these monumental choices and yet I still have yet to make any of those types of decisions at all.

Now a while back when I first was thinking about all this, in my mind I had a huge blog that would have been thought provoking, interesting and would let people maybe delve more into my life. Then I got to thinking probably not in my best interest to post that considering who may or not be reading this. However, I'm sure if I did post it maybe more people would actually think I'm interesting. Because I think most of my friends really don't find me all that interesting or fun to be around. They just think I'm a nice person who is educated and doesn't really judge anyones choices in life whether I agree or disagree with them.

Which then leads back to me thinking about the recent changes in many of my friends lives. I think it's great that people get engaged, get married and have babies. But for a person like me who has no real life outside of ocassionally working and helping out with the family. When any person I know who maybe I might ocassionally talk to or hang out gets engaged, married or has babies that means the less I will hear from them if at all. Which then leads to me being a very lonely bored person. Now I'm not going to blame my friends, but even when someone gets a boyfriend or girlfriend, friends seem to always get put on a book shelf so to speak only to be dusted off and used when they are need of something. Maybe it's just me that feels that way, but I think for the most part it is true. Unless you are the life of a party type friend you are often sitting waiting for someone to contact you because you figure if you contact them, like always they will be to busy.

Ever since I can remember I've been a pretty quiet, shy person who rarely makes friends and the few that I do are friends I usually know I can depend on. There have been several times I've tried to branch out and make friends with people who maybe I normally wouldn't be friends with, or just try to be a more open person and speak more so that maybe then I'd make more friends.

I tried in high school to this and it failed miserably especially after Junior year when the my close net of friends, basically the ones I'd tell just about everything to, stop being my friends, which then led to the good friends kind of drifting away. Which then was all mixed in with the inevitable high school drama. From crying in Orchestra class, to yellingat someone in the hallway, to crying in orchestra class, to chewing someone out at the mcdonalds drive thru, to crying in orchestra class yet again. Yes Orchestra class seemed to either to be my place to vent out or the place where the drama occured.

This leads me back to the thinking about the monumental choices friends have made recently. If I would have made different choices back in High School, or even college but I'm not going to go into detail or even rehash a little about that, would I now also be in the mix, and be able to relate to my friends, making these important life choices. Who knows, I guess god knows, but other than no one really knows what or how the choices they make in life will effect your future.

I guess really is you can't really judge or base your life off of others because they've lived and lead different lives than you have. No one is exactly the same and just because some people's monutmental life decisions happen way sooner then your's doesn't mean you will never have those events occur in your own life. But sometimes when so many people that you know are getting engaged, married, and having kids you feel left out like you aren't normal. But as the ketchup bottle commercial use to state, "All good things come to those who wait". Well I've been waiting for quite some and the future looks really really bleak.