I've noticed this but ever since I've become an "adult" anytime I get sick I think I'm going to die. Well this morning at around 4:30 am I woke up with the worst feeling in my stomach. It wasn't like a pain or anything, just something didn't feel right.
I decied I was up I'll drink some water and get ready to do my morning workout. When I started to stand up and get ready to do my taebo dvd I get this pukey feeling going on so I decided I probably shouldn't work out. So I sat down but I just couldn't get to feeling comfortable.
Then I started aganozing over this off feeling I was having. So I decided maybe I should just go ahead and eat breakfast. WRONG IDEA. I at just one bite of my granola bar and all of a sudden I got this taste of something really sweet too sweet. That's when I was like uh oh. So I placed the granola bard down and went to the bathroom and sat down on the floor and move the scale sitting next to the toliet away. For I second I thought I was out of the clear, but the sides of my face started to have that swelling feeling you know the one when you have like those super sour candies that I can't think of the name right now. But then it finally cam and I upchucked right in the old toliet and I didn't even make a mess on the rim or anything nearby.
I quickly flushed it for fear I'd do it over again, especially since the smell of the toliet deordrizer was kind of not the best thing to be smelling after this. So right then and there I started talking to god asking him to help me make it through this, cause I really don't puke often, it's a rather rare occurance for me. Even if I have the flu I end up having the other problem and not this one. I guess some people may think that's hard to believe that I haven't upchucked a lot, but I don't go out partying or boozing it up. So if I puke it means I'm really sick or something I ate didn't set well with me.
However, the thing that atonishes me is that any time I fell really sick or I'm in pain I always ask god for help because I fear that I'm dying or being punished for something that I did. I don't know why I do that I just do. Maybe I'm just a god fearing person or deep down inside I feel guilty for things I've done in the past. I really don't know.
The other thing is that anytime I do feel like this and I'm going to die I also start having thoguhts about the world and people. I talk good arguements and valid points when I'm sick, but unfortunately the only person who ever hears them is myself and god.
Today I talked about how all the money is being sucked dry out of us. You have all these charities going on and then you have all the stores telling you to buy Christmas presents. Then famous people telling you we should end world debt and we should end aids in Africa and blah blah. Then you have outrageous gas prices even though they are sort of going down right now. I mean where does it end.
I know you should give to charities especially close to Christmas time. But a vast majority of us have spend and donated tons of money on the hurricane victims, or the tusnami victims. Then add to the cost of gas and natural gas prices raising. People are going to spread their selves to thin and a majority of Americans are already in debt.
I don't claim to know all the facts or know statistics. I just know what I see and what I see is that our greatest strength in the eyes of our "politicians" honestly is our greatest weakness as a country. Yes compassion and giving is a good thing, but it gets to the point when you yourself are in need of things you can't heal the world unless you have tons of money like some of these famous people or politicians.
Which leads me to all these famous people telling you that you need to do donate to this our end aids in africa or end world debt. Well I got news for you if you want to do it why don't you go through your enormous bank account and you end the world debt yourself and chip in the money instead of laying it out on people who most likely don't have the money to chip in. Cause I know Bono is living quite comfortably and has a lot of things I couldn't even imagine having. If he's so end to ending world debt and doing something about aids why doesn't he donate or put in more of his own money and live like us regular people in a small house with an average car.
Maybe I'm the only one that feels this way, but I'm just so sick of everywhere you look someone is trying to guilt you into to donate money into one thing or another. I feel really bad for the huricane victims and I feel really bad for people with aids and the homeless. But unless we want to milk everyone who isn't in the upperclass or the upper middle class out of money and thus end up falling into one of the categories we are guilt tripping people into donating money for we need to stop all this guilt all at the same freaking time.
It really bothers me and upsets me that some people think because you don't donate or get involved in a cause that it means you don't care or think you are better. Well that's not the case some of use just don't have the means to help out because we are barely getting by ourselves.
Man and now I go myself so worked up that I missed a bit of the begining of Regis and Kelly. Now I shall watch my show and then maybe hopefully later today I get to feeling better.
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