Well it's about a week a way from Jennifer Brittin's wedding and I still haven't got anything to wear for it or have gotten a wedding gift.  I've had plenty of time to think about what to get her and what to wear to this wedding but I guess since the person I asked to go with me couldn't come I just haven't really thought much about it.  It's kind of like going to a class reunion or to see people from high school you haven't seen in years you want to have something really cool or important to say, so you look like you've improved since then or made some of yourself.  Well I have done neither of those things,  or at least I think so. 

I mean if they guy who I asked could have come out here to go well it would have at least shown that yes I did make some friends out in California and that I was social to an extent.  Oh well, now I'll be going to this wedding and hearing how everyone else's lives are so great.  Then getting the usual questions aren't you seeing someone, haven't you met anyone, when are you going to get married, etc etc.

Well I'm just going to go to the wedding put a happy face on and be a good sport because it's Jennifer's day and she hasn't done anything really bad to me.  Although I did feel a bit left out that I wasn't even asked to be in the wedding where as people who haven't known her as long as I have were asked to be in the wedding party.  Not that I would have accepted but it would have been nice to be asked or at least thought of since I've known her for so long.

Anyhow I guess I'll figure out all that some time this week.  So today I got my haircut so that it will be nice, clean, and shaped up.  I got the back underneath shaved so the back didn't look like a big bush.  It was looking pretty hideous but now it's all good.  Hopefully people won't think it's too crazy looking.  We'll see tomorrow when my mom and sis come back home tomorrow.  Not that I really care what they think about it, but I'm sure they will have something to say about it.

I ordered a new computer today because this laptop is slowly dying.  It's slow and it keeps crashing on me for unknown reasons.  I'll also be getting a new printer that has a scanner.  So I'll be sure to get some pictures up so you can all see me or see my lovely pictures of things I took.  I'm really excited about it because I think I'm going to start selling some things on ebay to help pay for my loans.  Plus I have a lot of things I need to get rid of that I don't really care about anymore that I'm sure someout there in the world might really want.

I can honestly say this month has severely sucked and it just got started. However, 4 weeks or so has really sucked. With my grandma not seeming to get any better. Me not being able to find a job. I don't know what I'm going to do now. My life right now just really sucks and anytime I try to do something it send me a set forward but then all of a sudden something comes from behind and clips my knee and I fall down and fall steps upon steps behind. I really don't know what to do anymore. I've tried and tried to make my life better but nothing has worked. I'm alone, miserable, and really just don't have faith in much of anything anymore.