The Sattelite has gone screwy. I think the lightining last night messed it up, it's all fuzzy now. That's why I'm online and have been for most of the day. I've been really bored.

Sucks when you don't really have any friends or good health for that matter. I just wish I had better health, the friends part I've given up on. Cause most times I put so much into that and get nothing. So I'm just going to focus on myself now. I've always put others first before myself, but what good has that done for me. Not much, just get stepped on and used.

I guess I've never really quite been my true self since my father passed away when I was 11. I don't think I ever really grew up. I mean of course I did, but you know what I mean. I'm not big on doing the grown up things for fun I'd rather go to arcades and play with toys. Not go out drinking, clubbing, or getting laid on a weekly basis. I'm the one who just seems to still be that 11 year old kid who is the same person, but now is 22 a little bit taller, a lot bigger, and health problems. Maybe it's just all in my head, but I really don't think so. Some people say I need to go see a shrink and not a doctor. They say most of my problems stem from psychological things. But people who tell me that aren't experts. I don't really know anymore. In fact I really don't know much of anything anymore. Everyone else has grown up except for me I think.