Well today's classes were ok. The night class was killer, but the teacher was hilarious. I just got back from seeing Darkness Falls. It was awesome except for the very last scene which could have been deleted and taken out completely. There was no point for the last scene it served not purpose as far as I could tell. Other then that it was a good movie. It is a movie you have to see in the theatre due to the surround sound effects that you can't really get at home. The sound effects were great. They made some of the people in the theatre rather jumpy. Well that's it for that.

I think I have crush on this person I've been talking to lately, but I'm not sure. It could be all in my head. I don't know. Not like anything would get made out if anyway.

Well todays class was interesting. Seems like it will be a tough class. I have two classes so far where we have to write papers every week. I also will also have to a lot of reading. It's going to be one heck of a semester. Some of these books are actually interesting.

Well hopefully the radio meeting tonight will go good, but I don't know. Just can't wait to get up to go to my 8 am class tomorrow morning.

First day of classes for me, and so far so good. Sounds like I'll be typing a lot of papers this semester. I have one more class today and hopefully it will be interesting. It's entertainment marketing and promotion class. I have to return one book because it's not longer required and I have to go in and buy one CD thing for 60 dollars for my Advertising Case Studies class. Well it's almost lunch time, so I got to get ready to go eat and run some errands.

Ok Well I'm back to post about Saturdays adventure to the Metro to see Amber Benson. Well the drive I think had to be the worse part of the whole adventure. It seem like it took forever. We first went to Jamba Juice to have a little breakfast so when we got there are stomachs weren't growling. That might of been a bad mistake since like right after we got into LA we had to go to the bathroom. So we stopped at some country club and went to the bathroom there. Then we tried to get back on the 101 North and they didn't have a ramp to go North just one to go back South. So we had to go back and find a ramp that could get us turned back around. That definately added some unwanted time to the trip. Then we are driving and we haven't even hit Santa Barbara yet and it seems like it has been two hours of driving time already. Then we have to go to a bathroom again. So we stop at a McDonalds and hit the bathroom. By this time it is now 11:30 and the signing starts at 12 and we have yet to see a sign that says Santa Barbara. When we finally do it says like 12 miles and I'm like there is no way we are going to get there by noon. Finally we get into the city at noon. Then we can't find parking. Eventually we find a parking structure and when we go we have to stop because some jackass is waiting for people to move out of there parking spot. My window is down cause it was hot and I'm yellinng fucking eh there is probably parking else where you are backing us up and I'm freaking late. This not just happen once, nor twice, but three times. What the fuck is wrong with people. Can't take an elevator down 4 floors or something? We finally park on the 3rd level of parking and get out of the car and walk over to Metro Comics.

While we are parking there is another one of those annoying war protest in front of the Museum which is diagnolly across from the Metro. I found it really annoying and stupid. So I ignore that and cross the street over and walk over to the place hotter and extremely pissed. So I took my blue flame skull cap off cause I was really hot. waited to pay for the autographs and photo and all. Get there it's 12 for autographs, so i buy two of those. Then 10 for poloroid and i buy one of those. Then i bought one photo for 5 dollars. Totally of 39 dollars I spent at the Metro. Then went over to get in are place in line. Waited for a while then they let like 10 people in. That left us at the front now. Then some dude comes out and goes on about he got the first autograph and how he asked her if buffy was going to end and I'm like why is this guy talking to us. I was like just standing there just being like ok. My mind was elsewhere at that point in time. Then the people from the Metro says you can some in now. So we go in and go to the back of this small place to get at the end of the line in there.

We finally get up there to her and my roommate tells her how I drag her to all her stuff and make her watch all her stuff and she laughs. Then my roommate says i like all the stuff your in it's cool. She then gives my roomie a hug since she gave her a letter. Then she goes I recognize that shirt and she's like you can't have a bad week and I'm like I seem to have one every time I see you and she goes that can't be the case. Then my roomie says we just paid tuition and she like that's not good. Then we told her how much it cost and all and she gave me a hug after i gave her my stuff for her. Then I went to wait in the polaroid line.

Stood in the polaroid line for a while. So my roomie decided to go to a bookstore. Well the bookstore turned out to be a bible bookstore so she went to an antique store then McDonalds and got us fries and drinks. Well while she was doing that they finally let us in. So I waited alone and it was smokey smelling in there. Ugh not a fan of cigarette smoke. Then got up there and she's like it's Briann Right. I was like saying in my head holy shit she remembered me, and she pronounced my name right. BTW most people don't pronounce my name right, it sucks. Take the picture and then I say thanks a lot and can I have a hug for the road and she's like sure. I go it's well needed for the 2 hour drive back and she's like you guys. Then I left and met my roomie outside.

We get in the car and leave to head back. Then we stop in Ventura County to watch surfing, because I had never seen that live before or waves that big. Then after 15 minutes we headed back out and drove for a while then maybe a 15 minutes out of LA we had to go to the bathroom and stopped for gasoline for the car. My roomie sure gets a kick out of the McRib being back. Got some stuff to eat went to the bathroom before and after we ate then headed back. Then we got stuck in traffic on the 101 and my car was right near the white line before you hit the red heat line so i was like shit. So windows got rolled down radio turned down and air completely shut off. So then we decided we are going on the 134 and that was good cause traffic was not bad. Took us 30 minutes after we got on there to get back to the dorms to crash form an exhausting trip.

Well sorry I haven't updated my blog in a while. I've been very busy. No actually I couldn't get connected to the stupid freaking school server for some reason. Probably the crappy ass computer I have. Well I'll post about the Metro signing in Santa Barbara after lunch. Today are the first day of classes for the Spring Semester here at Crapman, whooops, I meant Chapman. Exuse me just a little mess up there. The cool thing is I don't have classes on Mondays so I don't start till tomorrow. I have three classes on Tuesdays, 1 on Wednesdays, and 4 on Thursdays. So I'm thinking this semester I'm going to get a job on campus, or find some kind of internship that would hopefully motivate me to figure out what I'm going to do with my life. Right now my foot just fell asleep so I think I'm going to move it. What do you think? Man am I a dork. But whatever. Some pictures will get posted up on here and along with a video soon. The video I hope entertains the world and brings me world dominance and fortune.... wait no I just hope some people get a kick out it. Maybe I'll get discovered and become a big star..... wait what the fuck am I saying jeez I just want the world to know that I exist is more like it. Oh well I still need to write about the Trapt video shoot too huh? Well I got a picture from the Amber thing and not the Trapt video yet so you guys will just have to wait. Well I'm getting my stuff ready for lunch. I shall be back. Have a nice day and buy silver sharpies, because they are badass and you can find them at the Office Depot.

Well today we went to Knotts Berry Farm it was awesome. The new rollercoaster the Xcelerator. It was quick but what a rush. We rode it twice. Just like we did the Boomerang and Montezumas Revenge. I loved the Boomerang a lot though. I bought the picture from that ride. Ghostrider was closed so that was a little dissapointing. All in all a fun day. Tomorrow we go to the Metro to meet Amber Benson.

Well first today, the school tells me if I don't pay 6284 by Monday they are going to kick me out. Then my laundry card doesn't work. Then people tell me on top of the amount you paid for the ticket in line you have to pay for the autograph and 10 for a picture. What a bunch of crock load of shit is that.

Well I sucked at bowling today, hopefully that didn't take us out of first. I really want to win the trophies, because bowling is the only thing I'm good at and the only thing I can possibly attain some recoginition for doing something.

This Thursday night I will be heading to the Roxy to see Crazytown. I got on the record labels guest list, so I'm not having to pay except for parking. Should be interesting, even though I know Crazytown is so so live. I don't think I'd ever pay just to see them live.

Friday I might be going to Knotts Berry Farm, but not quite sure on that one yet. Don't want to wear myself out before Saturday's two hour drive to Santa Barbara for the Amber Benson signing at Metro.

Tomorrow more bowling class and then off to get the oil changed on my car. Oh what fun. Hopefully it won't cost too much and that they'll wash my car. I think I'll ask them this time. Then off to get some groceries. Yum Yum.

Which Peanuts Character Are You Quiz

This was in a friend of mine's website. So I figured I'd put it on mine, cause I'm bored and I'm sorry to Jason that I didn't come back when I said I would, but I bumped into and we watched some Buffy season 3 stuff.

[my name is]: Briann
[in the morning i am]: Confused
[all i need is]: people who don't annoy me
[love is]: mostly evil
[im afraid of]: loneliness and death
[i dream about]: Many Many Things

-H A V E .Y O U. E V E R . .
[pictured your crush naked?]: no
[actually seen your crush naked]: Nope
[been in love]: no
[cried when someone died]: Yes
[lied]: not recently

-W H I C H . I S . B E T T E R-
[coke or pepsi]: pepsi
[flowers or candy]: candy
[tall or short]: tall

-W I T H .T H E. O P P O S I T E. S E X-
[what do you notice first?]: smile
[last person you slow danced with]: the blind date at my senior prom
[worst question to ask]: uh don't know right now

-W H O-
[makes you laugh the most?]: no one
[makes you smile]: no one
[gives you a funny feeling when you see them]: Interesting
[do you have a crush on?]: not saying
[has a crush on you?]: no one
[easiest to talk to]: don't know.


-D O. Y O U .E V E R-
[sit on the internet all day waiting for someone special to I.M. you?] did in the past.
[save aol/aim conversations]:use to
[wish you were a member of the opposite sex]: sometimes
[cried because of someone saying something to you]: yes

-H A V E .Y O U .E V E R-
[fallen for your best friend]: no
[been rejected]: Yup
[rejected someone]: no cause no one comes to me at all
[used someone]: Nope
[been cheated on]: Nope
[done something you regret]: yep

-W H O .W A S .T H E .L A S T. P E R S O N-
[you talked to on the phone]: my sister
[hugged]: don't know
[you instant messaged]: Denise
[you laughed with]: myself after drinking Guinness on Friday night during laundry

-D O .Y O U-
[color your hair]: did a couple of times
[ever get off the damn computer]: Yup
[habla espanol]: Not well

-D O .Y O U / / A R E .Y O U-
[smoke cigarettes]: Nope
[obsessive]: hope not
[could you live without the computer?]: Nope
[how many peeps are on your buddylist?]: 86, but most of them don't get online though
[what's your favorite food?]: chicken
[whats your favorite fruit?]: apples
[drink alchohol?]: not that often just recently started to occasionally
[like watching sunrises or sunset]: both
[what hurts the most? physical pain or emotional pain?]: Emotional
[trust others way too easily?]: yep

-N U M B E R-
of times i have had my heart broken? : Many times
hearts i have broken? : None
of girls i have kissed? : none
of continents i have lived in? : One
of drugs taken illegally? : None
of tight friends? :none
of cd's that i own? : over 1,000
of scars on my body?: not many

Here are some pictures of me. Figure some people might want to see what a messed up person like myself looks like. The top picture is of me and Amber Benson at the Tower Record signing. The second picture is a picture my roommate took of me coming out of our bathroom they day before halloween. I didn't realize she took it till she got the pictures back. I hope you enjoy the few pictures. There probably will be more pictures to come on here once I get them scanned. But that's what I look like. What do you think? Comments are appreciated. I know I look retarded but oh well I'm not perfect.

Tomorrow or now later today I'll post about the Trapt music video shoot that took place Tuesday night Wednesday morning.

Well last night was an interesting experience. My roommates x boyfriend first IMed her under a different screenname and called her various choice phrases, such as whore, slut, bitch and etc. Then he kept calling her cell phone from various pay phones in San Diego. He'd call and all you'd heard was breathing. Then the third or fourth time he called I answered it and said, "Hello, you know you are really smart, you are just wasting your time and mine." Then he called again and I said, "Hello . . . . You know it's pretty stupid to call someone and not say anything aren't you going to talk." Then he called again while we were trying to watch House on Haunted Hill, we just got to the eletric shock scene and we were in the dark, he calls and I'm like , "do you like scary movies" Then he calls again but this time from a phone in Escondito, which means he's coming up to Orange County. So my roommate freaked and we stopped the movie, turned the lights on and she asked me what to do. So she ended up calling public safety and the filed a police report on him. We shall see how this goes. But after that my roommate was too scared so we went to a friends room in one of the indoor dorms and stayed there rewound House on Haunted Hill watched it again. Then watched Prime Gig. After we started to fall a sleep we left her room and came back to our room.


Today I woke up went bowling. I sucked ass today at bowling. But my mind just isn't with everything that is going on. Tonight we have to call to get more information on being extras in a music video. This time I think we might actually get in the video. I can't think of cool name for this project, but I'm sure after the experience we will think of one. Some other things that are coming up are us going to Knotts Berry Farm, to a taping of the show Reba, and seeing Amber Benson on the 25th in Santa Barbara. So hopefully I will get to have some exciting things to tell you about and maybe eventually pictures? Who knows got to ask the roomie to scan the pictures.

Oh BTW I have this video that I might be uploading to the site that is me talking and is very entertaining. Even I laughed at it, which I usually never do because most stuff I don't find funny enough to actually laugh at. People say I should become a comedian, but I don't think I'm funny. Hopefully wants I get it on the cd I can upload it and have the person who does all the computer stuff to my site get it on here for you and the whole world's viewing enjoyment.

I think my heart has totally been ripped to shreds. I try to be nice and kind to people and all they do is rip me down. They either lie to me, call me names, or give me confusing statements that make no sense and tell me never to talk to them ever again. I just really can't handle it. It seems like all my life I've been called names made fun of but I've never had my head put through a grinder along with my feelings and heart like it has been lately. I try to understand people and I'm a good listener but no one seems to want to say anything. Then I get ripped to peices for I guess saying too much. I was taught to be honest with people and to not bottle things up because if you do the very bad temper you have will eat you up from the inside out. Which now is occuring because I just don't get people and it's eating me a life. I wish people would understand. I wish this world was a happy place and everyone is happy, but I know that is an impossibilty. Don't know why people think I think everyone should be happy. I don't think everyone should be happy because my life has been gloomy ever since my dad died. I don't understand why people think I should be happy or that I am happy I'm not. Yeah I know I get to do a lot of cool things and I have lots of opportunity but is that suppose to make me happy. Some people are just not cut out for what they have or get.

Maybe one day I'll be happy, but that is very doubtful. If people only knew my whole life story maybe they'd understand. Getting all the lucky charms doesn't neccesarily make you happy person. The only thing I ever wanted I once had, but then for some reason or another it ended. Looking back I think I'm the one who blew it, or maybe we both blew it. You are probably wondering what the hell I'm talking about. Well back in high school when I was a sophmore I met this amazingly interesting freshmen. Who seemingly didn't know at the time that No Doubt had more albums then Tragic Kingdom, this was in 97. She over heard my conversation about No Doubt and seemed really interested about what I had to say. Funny thing is when we split up during track for our particular events she was shot put/ disc thrower too. So we ended up teaming up for warm ups and talked totally about No Doubt. It was cool. I had finally found someone to talk to about No Doubt, since most people I knew just could less a damn about them.

Well not only did we just talk No Doubt, but we also talked about other music. I had finally found a music buddy, unfortunately she couldn't go to concerts due to her mom being very anal. But through the end of my sophmore year and the various track meets we became the best of friends. Then during that summer we became like best buds. I was finally really happy. I had found someone who not only liked the same music, but also would talk with me and actually listened to me and cared about what I was talking about. She never put me down she just listened. She was the only person who ever would just sit there and listen to what I had to say and actually care about. No one ever before in my life had ever done that for me. She didn't open up to me as much as I did to her, but I think she opened up a little. We hung out with each other almost all the time. We went to the mall like every day after school, we liked basically all the same stuff, it was really quite cool. She was also very supportive of all the dreams and aspirations I had and I was of her too.

Then near the end of my Junior year things started to change. She had gotten a boyfriend and I was boyfriendless like usual. She started getting gothier, I started becoming very no doubtless. We hung out every now and then during the summer but not as much as before. Then fall of my Senior year something happened, she bailed on me for this hockey game gathering I was having and I got made cause my mom had already bought the tickets and I yelled at her. From that moment on she stopped talking to me and started to really change. Maybe there was something I didn't know, but all she had to do was tell me and I would have understood. All the days after that I was all alone. Friendless and very empty. I had no one to talk to about my problems and fears. My dreams had all started to slip away after that had happened. Most of my dreams were centered around always being friends with her and moving out to Cali and finding us some rockstar boyfriends and just doing shit we loved to do. Her doing her art stuff and me just doing something with music.

I talked to her once after that happened on her graduation day and said are we still on for Cali, because I don't break my promises. She said we'll see. She seem to not be angry with me anymore, but I don't think everything was healed. I regret getting mad at her and having that outbreak, but she had changed, and I guess I'm like the only one in the world that never really seems to change.

Then when I heard about Jon dying I knew she was probably really upset since they hadn't gotten to be close friends especially in their last year of High School. Heck I was upset too. Jon was a good kid, granted he was rather annoying at times, but a lot of people are. He also seem to like to listen to people also. Maybe that's what she needed and why they became so close. When I went to the visitation I thought I might see her there, but that wasn't why I went. I went because I hadn't seen Jon in like 2 years and wanted him to know that even though I didn't keep in touch he was still good person and was and had been on my mind. I couldn't go the actually funeral because I had to go to my grandma's because I hadn't seen her in 6 months because of college. So When I was at the visitation and I saw the pictures and his artwork it all got to me. I got so upset I didn't think it would be a good idea to drive so I took a little time to just cool down for a while. At that moment I figured Jon was looking down and having a hay day seeing me cry, because as most people know I do not like to cry in front of anyone. His roommate then came over and introduced himself and talked to me for a while. I mentioned how I had been trying to get a hold of Jon for a while and was going to ask them how I could get a hold of my old friend since I knew he was close with her. He asked who? I gave her name and he's like yeah her picture is up there and I was like I must have missed it. So I went to look at the pictures while he got a peice of paper. There was recent pic of her, which she looked a little different then the last time I saw her. Then there was the picture from my junior homecoming of her, Margo, Jon me, and two other people. I had been looking for that picture so I give it to his family. I didn't remember giving it to him. I guess I did or I gave it to her and she gave it to them. Well Jon's roommate gave me her phone number, and me being stupid I gave her mom home address and not my college address.

I still haven't called her phone number. I really want to too, but I'm not really a phone person. I wish I had the guts to call but I don't. She was the best friend I ever had and probably every will have. I'd give anything to have that frienship back, or to even have another friendship like that, but I think I've already blew my chances. If she is reading this, which I highly doubt she is, I have something I really want to say. You were the best friend I've ever had and you gave me some hope and I had a lot of fun and maybe one day we can have that friendship again hopefully, and I still keep my promises so if you come out to Cali I got your back.


"Do Well And Doubt Not"

Ok well I've decided I'm going to try to sign up to bowl in the Zeke Lerner Celebrity Bowl-A-Thon Amber Benson has been confirmed as one of the celebrities that are going to participate. You are probably think "You are only going to do this because Amber is going to be there." you were wrong. Amber is a plus and is the only reason I would have known about this, however I love bowling and I'm from Missouri, so any celebrities I get to meet by just doing a simple thing like bowling is pretty cool to me. I don't care which celebrity I get to bowl with, just as long as I just get to bowl. Then add the fact that bowling for a good cause will probably motivate me to bowl better. Maybe I'll get my first 300 game ever, yeah right...in my dreams. Highest score I ever had was 176 or something like that. I take bowling really seriously, because if you really think about it, it's the only thing I've ever recieved praise for by peers and etc. I could donate 100 to the United Way and have no one else to donate money because they think "well she donated for me", but I bowl really well then everyone is like "Briann you are the shit." It really boggles my mind to how people are. I just don't understand I guess. Ok now I'll get to the point. I need to get 70 dollars just so I can get in to bowl so I need anyone and everyone's help. Also I need sponsors and people willing to donate money to the charity. Plus I need to get some people to be my teammates because they want teams of 5. So if you can help me out in anyway please leave a comment or email me. Thanks.

Drank for the first time ever last night and I'm 22. Had some Guiness it tasted like the mexican coffee I had in Germany. Only had a little though. So that means there are four cans left in the fridge. The cake we bought the icing tasted funky so I don't think I'll be getting that kind of cake ever again. I knew I should have bought the ice cream cake.

It's Amber Benson's 26th Birthday today. Happy Birthday Amber. So in honor of it I'm going out and getting a cake, hey I didn't cake for my birthday so I think it's fair I go and get one now.

Which They Might Be Giants album are you?

Well I'm back in California and my throat is killing me. Got a new pair of JNCO jeans today. Now I have to decide between those and my new big ass black pants to wear when I meet Amber Benson.