Man I really need to go and buy a new diary to write in. The one I have is full, and has been that way for a while. So much has been going on lately and I really need to write it down. I would write it here but people i know well read this ocasionally, and it's not something I want them reading.

Today was a boring day. I got up at like 6 am because the sun was shining in my room since I have the window fan in it so I can't put the blinds down. So I got online and watched Saved By The Bell the College years on TBS. Only one persn I talk to online got online while I was trying to doing something to keep me from being bored. Then I went back to bed after and hr or so. Then I woke up and called for orientation times for my aerobics class I'm taking this summer. Then I took a lovely shower got dressed and got some lunch at Taco Bell. Then watched some TV and fell a sleep. Then I woke up and it was time for dinner. Dinner sucked and then I went back to my room to watch TV. Then I got some ice cream which melted as soon as I scooped it out. It was great. Then I listened to the radio for a while. Then I got online again. Of course no one was online. Then I'm online now and nothing is going on and no one is on or around. So my day has been a bore.

Tomorrow I'm off to orientation that starts at 11:30. Then the rest of the day is open.

I know this probably the most boring and stupidest blog every but oh well.

Later

Hoobastank
Running Away

I don't want you to give it all up
and leave your own life collecting dust
and I don't want you to feel sorry for me
you never gave us a chance to be

And I don't need you to be by my side
and tell me that everythings all right
I just wanted you to tell me the truth
You know I'd do that for you

So why are you running away?
Why are you running away?

I did enough to show you that I was willing to give and sacrafice
and I was the one who was lifting you up
when you thought your life had had enough
when I get close you turn away, nothing that I can do or say
so now I need you to tell me the truth
you know I would do that for you

So why are you running away?
Why are you running away?

Is it me? Is it you?
Nothing that
I can do
To make you change your mind

Is it me? Is it you?
Nothing that
I can do
Is it a waste of time?

Is it me? Is it you?
Nothing that
I can do
to make you change your mind

So why are you running away?
Why are you running away?
(What is it I have to say?)
So why are you running away?
(To make you admit you're afraid)
Why are you running away?

Stabbing Westward
Title: Lies
Album: Ungod

[
Your soul a pit of stone,
the depths I wish I could have known
Dangerous, black and full of spite,
thoughts of you fill my night
But now we lay naked on the floor
I'm lost, I'm drowning in your soul
I was searching for some answer in your eyes
I find malicious laughter and a love that has died
You are haunting my reality
Your lies are the only truth that I believe
You are haunting my reality
Now everytime I think about you I die

Hatred runs through me marrow deep
I long to tear your eyes out in your sleep
This passion can lead to evil crimes
Do I kill you or do I choose to die?
Acid burn etched in my brain
Someone dies before I go insane
I was searching for some answer in your eyes
I find malicious laughter and a love that has died

You are haunting my reality
Your lies are the only truth that I believe
You are haunting my reality
Now everytime I think about you I die
Lies

Soon now you'll be gone
I wish to God I could've known
I love you I hate you every night
This longing for your soul has got me scared
But now we lay naked on the floor
I'm lost, i'm drowning in your soul
I was searching for some answer in your eyes
I find malicious laughter, hate and lies fucking lies

You are haunting my reality
Your lies are the only truth that I believe
You are haunting my reality
Now everytime I think about you I die [repeat]
Lies

Staind
"Just Go"



I'm kinda numb
It's so distorted
You left me here with this damage that you've caused
My tortured faces
I've fucked up places
In my memories none of them I've lost, but...

I haven't been here long enough to know
Everytime I feel this I just lose control
Such a cancer on the face of everything that's beautiful
I wish that this would just go, go.

It's kinda sick
I feel so dirty
I'm kinda tragic kinda insecure
But I know that I'm the only
One that can fix whatever's wrong I'm sure, but...

I haven't been here long enough to know
Everytime I feel this I just lose control
Such a cancer on the face of everything that's beautiful
I wish that this would just go, go.

I feel so alone
From all I've become
I'll take you down
I'll feel so down
I'm water while you drown
You're lifted while I'm down
I'm cancer in your womb
I'm the needle in your spoon, but...

I haven't been here long enough to know
Everytime I feel this I just lose control
Such a cancer on the face of everything that's beautiful
I wish that this would just go, go.

Just
Just
Just
Just go
Go
Go

All these fucking (lies 3x)
All your fucking (lies 3x)

I'm in a very bad mood. I feel like reciting lyrics from songs that deal with people whom lie. Now all I got to do is find them

People become guilty when they don't talk.
People become even more guilty when they disappear.
How can you believe a person when they lie to you.
Not just a little lie but a big lie.
They think it won't hurt anyone and they will be forgiven.
So they dissapear for a while just like everyone else who supposedly exists, making the one party left look like they are making everyone and everything up.
Then they get online but never apologize to the person.
So the one person who gets to be accused of being guilty gets baggered more and more about being guilty for making people up.
Are people stupid or what? They obviously don't care about their "friends" to let them take all the shit for it.
Oh well I don't have to live with that.

Which Talk Soup host are you?

Which Star-Crossed Marvel Lover Are You?

If I were a sappy movie ballad, I would be My Heart Will Go Onfrom TitanicIncurring the wrath of both casual radio listeners and audiophiles the world over, I managed to get played every hour on the hour on every radio station the world over. It seems that my appeal will go on, and on, and on, and on....What sappy movie ballad are you?

See what Rugrat you are.

Ahh, you are "Velveta Shells and Cheese". You are expensive, no
denying this, but its the price you pay for quality. You
don't even require other food supplies. Water and a pan
is all you need to get by. That silver bag your cheese
comes in looks like something out of the 23rd century, but
it's cool! And those crevices in the shells hold the cheese
so well... You Rock!

Take the What Kind of Macaroni and Cheese Are You? Quiz

Created by LJ User RobProv222

Take the Which Elvis Are You? quiz, made by .

So I didn't do what I was going to do. That's a first. I usually do what I say I'm going to do. Oh well everyone does that to me. They say one thing then they don't do it or they lie about it. But seriously I think I've given up on giving a damn about anyone else but me. Too many people have lied to me or claimed to be my friends. They act oblivious to the fact that they continually let me down or really freaking hurt my feelings. Well I have to figure out something to do online to occupy my lousy time.

Well this will be my last blog entry because I've decided there is no point to living anymore. I have no friends and no one gives a fuck about me so I decided to stop wasting space on this earth. So long to everyone. Goodbye.

I'm back in Missouri. What a bore. Everything is going bad. Even the British Bulldog Davey Boy Smith died at the age of 39, :(. What else will happen. Plus no one is talking to me. Oh well I'll be cleaning and rearranging my room at home. When I'm done I'll take some pictures and upload them to the site.

Well this will be my last entry for a while. Today I turn in my ethernet card after my last final for the semester. So I hope everyone is doing well and has a nice day. See you all in about 4 to 5 days.


BTW I really miss you C and love you a lot.

Well one more final to go then I'm done for the semester. Basically everything in my room is packed up now. Now I'll have to do is some vaccuming and dusting. Then I'll have to clean the bathroom. Then back home to Missouri I go.

You know them space air bags. That you vaccum out all the air to make more space? Well one of th new ones my mom used didn't work. Ugh My mom is going to be mad. That's nothing new.

Well today is my final for Intercultural Communication. I really don't get this class. We write papers about crap he doesn't explain well. I guess I'll just BS my way through it like normal. It's an essay final exam and man do I hate essays. That's probably because I can't write very well. My train of thought takes over and I mix up what I want to say on anything I want to write, mainly for school. I have not motivation to do any better on papers for school. I need to get an A on the final to get a solid be in this class. I got an A on the midterm so I'm figuring I can pull it off.

Today my mom and sis come to help me pack and get me ready to go back home. First we have to go get my breaks on my car checked and fixed because my right tire is making this hidious squeaking loud noise all the time. I'm really glad they are coming because I need some people who aren't so fake around me. Also I won't have to eat Aramark Cafeteria food, YEAH!!!! Not like I'll have to eat Aramark food next year since the school is getting and new food company, but still Cafeteria food is like the same crap everyday. I think we are going to go to Islands today for lunch if we get my car fixed at the right time. Then tonight we'll probably got to Mimi's Cafe in Huntington Beach. My mom just loves that place now. I don't really get why, but whatever.

I still have some more cleaning to do in my room before I leave. I also have a few more things to pack up before I can pack them up in the vehicles. The excitement of going back to Missour is killing me ( can you since the sarcasim), but besides that I'm kind of getting sick of Orange County, I really need a change of senery (damn I think I spelled that wrong). Oh well two more days then I'm on my way home.
Look out Missouri Bri is coming back.

Life doesn't mean much anymore.
I've lost everything.
My happiness, my hope, my dreams, and everything else in between.
I don't who to trust.
I don't know anyone that cares.
All I know is I'm dying and no longer anywhere.
Just a person taking up space on this earth.
Watching the years, days, hours, minutes, and seconds past by before I slowly die.


:'(

What's Your Sexual MO? Find out @ She's Crafty

I am



Find out which Garbage Pail Kid you are!

Who's your daddy?? Find out @ blackhole

Who are YOU most like?

Which Kiss Are You?

Find your emotion!

How Gay Are YOU? [?]

You have a funny effect on people making time with you a strange and wonderful concept to perceptualise. People enjoy listening to music with you and can spend much time discussing the varying depths of sound or other such stuff, either that or they sit for a time in a semi-comatosed state. Often people in your company think they can understand Einstien's theory of relativity when infact they are so shitfaced they cant even tie up their shoes laces, but as it has been found, either could Einstien. Sometimes you make people paranoid and they walk down dark alley ways and creep along parked cars to elude the police from seeing them. Spending great amounts of time with you makes people want to lose their job and live an alternative lifestyle supplying the state with their yearly yeilds..of your kind. Often they get bored of the idea soon and begin eating smaller amounts of the stuff or giving up cigarrettes, before they have a psychotic episode and join their crazy diamond of a friend in the mental ward.

Find Out If You Were A Drug, What You Would Be!

quiz by ravenritings

I really miss clarissa. :'( for the past month and about 2 weeks no one has woken me up in the morning
:( It's my fault. I said suff I didn't mean. Oh well my loss. That's what you get for letting people get to you and make you go wacko.
3 finals down two more to go and I'm done for the spring semester then. 2 weeks off and then hopefully I'll be in summer school. Brushing up on my Spanish and taking a PE credit. I almost have everything packed up to go home except for personal and personal hygeine itmes, cleaning products, school supplies, calenders, some hangers and some nonsense stuff. Oh and of course the TV and my alarm radio, the fan and my phone. Oh yeah forgot about my pillows and my bedsheets and comforter and sit up pillow.
Several things I didn't get to do this school year in Orange County that I would have like to have done.
I would have liked to have gone to California Adventures
I would have liked to have gone to Downtown Disney
I would have liked to have gone to 6 Flags Magic Mountain
I would have liked to have gone to the Hard Rock Cafe arond here
I would have liked to been an extra in a music video or a movie, damn i almost got to do that, only if I wouldn't have picked up simon for julia that one day
I would have liked to have gone to a television taping
That's all the things I wish I could have done this semester here in Orange County or in Southern California in general. Well off to packing more stuff up to go home.

i had a love he let me down,
i brushed that off and let him back in,
then once again he let me down,
i brushed that off and let him back in,
the relationship then ended,
then i found someone else,
he was against it,
he changed his perspective about me,
then he lied and said he was happy,
then he continually pressured me to change my mind,
so then i did because i had feelings for him,
he made me feel as if i was hurting and destroying the person i had grown to care about,
then i told the new interest in my life that it was over,
i said it was brought to my attention i'm ruining your life,
that it was brought to my attention you no longer have interest in me
then i found i hurt this person by saying that,
they then ignored me,
he then let me down because of this and i brushed it off,
then one day he lied and let me down majorly,
then i had to let him go,
no more will i give any second chances,
he has ruined my life with him,
he has ruined my life with another,
whom know i have heard has found another,
I no longer have anything to look forward to,
and no longer have any hope for anything anymore
No longer looking for relationships with anyone,
because all the relationships i have had or supposedly had just end up ruining me

See which Greek Goddess you are.

Find out which Dead RockStar you are @ Useful Idiot.

Which Brady Bunch kid are you most like?

Deep in the heart of every man
Lies a hidden dream or plan
To be a milloinaire
Life without a care

Hey cool cat
Does this apply to you?
Don't you lie
'Cause you can't hide the truth

I can see what's behind those eyes
Tongue so twisted from tellin' lies
You might think you're strong
But you better not treat me wrong
Or else I'll say so long

(Chorus):
Goodbye
I never want to see you again
Goodbye
I don't want to be your friend
So long
Now we've reached the end
Time for me to turn that bend
When time has run away
And there's no need for me to stay
And lose myself to you
And be abused by you
I don't need the pain
From your mind games
When you try them again
I won't be there for them to work
Anymore

Now you're back
And you're beggin' please
Crawling on your hands and knees
You thought you were a star
But now here you are
You haven't traveled far

Basically you're just a big tough bastard.
People respect you but don't really like you.
And frankly you couldn't give a shit.

Take The "Which WWF Wrestler are you?" Quiz.
Created by Potman

take the which one of the trading spaces cast are you? quiz!

Which Rainbow Brite kid are you? By Growing.

I'm "I Wish It Was Christmas Today" Jimmy!

Take the Jimmy Fallon recurring SNL character quiz here.

created by stomps.

Take the What High School
Stereotype Are You? quiz, by Angel.

See what Care Bear you are.

Take the Which Breakfast Food Are You? Quiz.

Click here to take
the quiz!

	You are Kermit! Though you're technically the star, you're pretty mellow and don't mind letting others share the spotlight. You are also something of a dreamer.
Take the What Muppet Are You? Quiz!

I taste like Beef. I taste like beef. I'm probably made of beef. You are what you eat, they say, and if the title didn't mean something else, I would be a beefeater. I think red meat is good for you. Puts hair on your chest. What Flavour Are You?

My life sucks. It just plan sucks. Everyone expects me to commodate for them, but no one, and I mean no one, ever commodates for me. God forbid I ask something of someone, but if something is asked of me I have to do it because if I don't I look like the bad guy. Golly jeez. If you really care about people you'd be willing to accommodate for someone or at least meet them in the middle, but god forbid anyone do that for me. Oh well I'm never going to have to deal with that shit anymore, because I'm doing away with all kinds of relationships because it's not worth my time or energy anymore. Especially when I just get un needed stress from it. Because I really don't need friends, I really don't need a boyfriend or anything because I just end up doing what I'd normally do without them just sit in my room bored to death. I'm just a waste of space on this earth because all I do is sleep or sit in my room bored to death. No point being here if I'm not doing anything.

I am... HENRY THE EXPLORER by MARK TAYLOR. When I get fed up with my life, I run away for just a little while. You know, I do that in life, too - whenever things get tough, I get a change of perspective. Find out what Children's Book You Are!

p align="center">According to the "Which
Pre-IBer Are You?" Test...

which song of staywhatyouare are you? find
out!

According to the "Which
Something Corporate Song Are You?" Test...

:'(

My heart is empty
My heart has grown cold and is turning black
The lies that were told
Have changed me forever
They have cut the final string holding me together
And I have now snapped
No longer stable
My thoughts jumping everywhere
Never looking back
Tears running down my face
All my emotions drained out for the world to see
No longer is there any part left of the real me
No longer the kind of smile that I had
No longer giving a damn

You were male in your last earthly incarnation.

You were born somewhere around the territory of what is now know as modern Wales, approximately in the year 725.

Your profession was: dramatist, director, musician, bard.

A brief psychological profile of you in that past life:
You always liked to travel, to investigate, could have been detective or spy.

A lesson that your last past life wishes you to learn in your present life is:
Your lesson -- to conquer jealousy and anger in yourself and then in those, who will select you as their guide. You should understand that these weaknesses are caused by fear and self-regret.


do you remember?